You don't belong.

I've become very tired of school lately. Usually, I don't complain about school because I love it but summer vacation feels so close and I am ready for a break. I'm not sure what kind of job I'll end up getting but hopefully it's a good one.

On another note, I've decided that I don't quite belong in the central valley. I don't think people understand me here. With an exception of a few friends, I am constantly bumping heads with people about life and general ideas. I don't like the kind of people that surround me in these kind of places. They have no ambition anymore. Where did everyone's passion go? Why does every weekend have to be filled with mindless get-togethers where the alcohol is the host[ess]. I find it rare to sit down with someone and have a meaningful conversation. I kick myself to think of what I tend to complain about [i.e. relationships, money, not getting my way.]

No one has anything to offer to me here. Relationships? Don't get me started on relationships. What do guys have to offer me here? A jobless ass who has no motivation to become somebody in this world. They have no impressive ideas. What are you here for? Maybe "God" will be quietly uttered but is that it? Is there anything else to live for?

Against Me! opens my mind so much. It's amazing how a raspy voice, controversial lyrics and a couple of simple chords can make the day so much better. I want everyone to hear what I hear but too many times I heard "I don't like punk." Maybe I just need to keep this stuff to myself.

It's alright that no one else understands my happiness. After all, it's mine.

I feel incredibly peaceful right now, listening to Tom Gabel's serenade titled "Joy". He says
"And there's a joy, a joy in all I can see.
A joy, in every possibility."

I love this shit.